I love reading entries on Fanlore.
I particularly like the entries “The Three Laws of Fandom” and “The Three Generations of Fanfic” (which has a quote from the Tumblr user madmaudlingoes that refers to the age before livejournal and fanfic.net (the later of which she refers to as “the pit of voles”) as The Great Schism. Her post is dramatic, funny, and knowledgeable.)
They’re really, really interesting. They are excellent in learning about the long history of fandom, it’s cyclical nature, and discovering there are terms/names for existing phenomena you’ve experienced but didn’t know had names.
But they also make me really nostalgic and kind of sad? But also kind of blasé?
Like, I remember me from 10 years ago. I never would have thought about seeing the death of sites like livejournal and fanfic.net, yet their times are long past. And now, I’m waiting for something new to surpass tumblr, especially since there seems to be an overall increasing dissatisfaction with the site as a fandom hub, but no better alternatives (as of yet).
And this disillusionment makes me feel jaded, like I’m dreaming of some kind of “golden age” that never really existed. Hell, my golden age was probably closer to early Tumblr. When it came to fanfic.net and livejournal, I was really on the fringes of those anyway.
(Probably because I never even really used my LJ account to search out individual authors, I just lurked around the communities. So there was always lots of fic but not any real personal connection to it. No real emotion experiences with other fans. It makes me feel like I missed out–and continue to miss out–on a sense of community livejournal provided that tumblr never did. But rationally I know that’s probably more my style of fangirling to blame than anything else. I’ve just always been more of a lurker than anything. Not because I’m shy, just because I don’t think I have anything original/interesting to really say.)
It also makes me feels strange to know that some would consider me an “old fan” for being almost 25, when there are fans twice my age alive and kicking.
And I love them for being kicking, since a good chunk of my fav writers and artist seem to be a good deal older than me. If they weren’t kicking I’d be out of some of my favorite works!
It’s comforting too. As I get older, I’m naturally seeking to interact with people closer to my own age–especially with the sudden unpleasant surge in the sentiment that fandom is somehow only for teens–and seeking to reaffirm there’s a space for me.
(And I want people to know the above two paragraphs are in no way a slam against younger content creators! Great creators come in all ages! It’s not even really about the actual fan content being made, it’s more about the actual experiences of being in fandom/online. I’m just in a very different place emotionally from someone 19/20–much less minors, who I don’t feel super comfortable knowingly following anymore, considering my age and blog content–and even the most awesome art in the world can’t really change that.)
I guess reading the fanlore pages reminds me I’m far from the first to experience this sensation of alienation from fandom, longing to reconnect to a different (in this case older) side of it.